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I've tried other servers and the speed is fine just with their servers running on linux.
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Have you also tried other ftp clients to access this same server, do you get the same results with them?
If this speed issue occurs only with this particular site and your speeds are fine with other ftp servers then i think you can rule out a problem with your router. If you get the same low speeds to this particular site when trying other ftp clients then you can also rule out a problem with flashfxp.
You say other people get better speeds using your account than you do, if it possible that there is just bad routing between you and the server? (note:this is completely beyond your control). This can and does occur, even amoung users on the same service provider. BBB in sweden for example has extremely bad routing, and often quite shaky routing even within sweden and amungst other BBB users.